R U OK to answer this question?

Source: Unsplash

Yesterday marked "R U OK?" Day, a day aimed to inspire Australians to have regular, meaningful conversations every day of the year to help anyone who is experiencing some tough times. 

Coincidentally, I had my 'SCWK2005: Psychology for Mental Health' subject yesterday and this week's topic had been heavy - speaking about various incidents of suicide and self harm. My tutor then posed to the class a scenario: 

Your friend has been dropping hints that they are thinking about suicide. One day, they tell you that they are not feeling okay and are planning to take their life soon. How would you respond? 

At that present moment, I was dumbfounded. How could I be able to respond in a way that could potentially save their life? How could I be able to convince them that there was reason to live? It's so easy to say "focus on the positives" or "I know what you're going through" to ignore the issue at hand. The problem with these responses is that certain responses could possibly perpetuate an individual further towards suicide, rather than discouraging them. A thought like this is worrying. 

Suicide is seen as such a taboo topic, one that is often overlooked, invisible and unspoken of in everyday conversation. Often the reason for this is associated with fear. Fear that by talking about the issue, we are rather putting the idea of suicide into someone's conscious thoughts. The thing is - if someone was in such a state, feeling an unimaginable, unexplainable, unpredictable emotional pain, twenty ways of killing themselves would already be on their minds. 

The thing also about mental health is that it's something you can't quite see. It might be a twinkle in their eye, a look of concern or unfamiliar behaviour. The cure is not a tablet, a pill or a simple trip to the doctor. With increasing focus on monetary gain within the pharmaceutical industry, this does not aid in society's approach to overcoming the white elephant in the room. This is not about medicine. This is not about a cure. This is about understanding that some experiences that we go through our lives can be difficult - extremely difficult, and it's something that should no longer be hidden from the public domain. 

The far greater sadness arises from after the suicide takes place - the grief of the family and friends. Questions such as "What could I have done?", "Why didn't I notice this earlier?" and "How could I have prevented this?" are far too common. 

The current Australian government isn't helping much with overcoming this issue either. With emphasis on shorter hospital stays and quicker recovery processes, suicide recovery and prevention has not been at the topic of the agenda, suicide rates continue to increase. It remains as the leading cause of death for individuals aged between 15-44, with around 200 suicide attempts per day. Click here to read some more staggering statistics.  

It's catchy and marketed campaigns such as "RUOK?" that help raise vital awareness of the issue. It is not meant to be a one off occasion to ask the individual, but rather each and every day. 

When asking this question, be mindful of the conversation that you may potentially have. Make sure you have the real desire to hear out the person, their experiences, and not to judge their current situation. Be patient and advise the friend of the various mental health services available in Australia. This includes encouraging action, and remembering to follow up with that important person.

If at any time you need someone to talk to, contact Lifeline on 13 11 14.